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When he's a baby. You can't believe a word they say. Why do most men have a beer belly? Oh and of course pregnancy too, because mamas aren't the only ones to gain weight during pregnancy.

How does a man make sex more interesting? Shine a torch in his ear. When you are in the lavatory and the plane hits turbulence. He has a penis.

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How can you tell the difference between men's real gifts and their guilt gifts? Why does it take 1 million sperm to fertilise one egg? What do a clitoris, an anniversary, and a toilet have in common? It depends how thinly you slice them. Men always miss them. I will admit sometimes I look at myself and I am not happy with what I see.

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Why don't men know the meaning of fear? What's a sure a man will be unfaithful? For a woman, marriage is more than just a word. Marriage means more. You need one, but you're not quite sure why.

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adulg How many men does it take to replace the toilet roll? What's the quickest way of losing unwanted excess fat? The woman. Because so many men fake foreplay.

Lifting his legs so you can vacuum underneath. It's a fact. Bonds mature. Him: I can only cook two things - steak, and fried eggs. What's the difference between a woman's husband and her boyfriend? His lips move.

What do you call a handcuffed man? They're either vacant, engaged, or full of crap.

In the study, conducted Pioneer Louisiana sex tonight Ohio State, people gained on average 20 pounds after taking that trip down the aisle. What's the difference between government bonds and men? What's a man's idea of helping with the housework? When it's time to go back to childhood, he's got less far to go.

They both come too soon. With each passing too of marriage my clothes became more snug, more uncomfortable, and as a result I found myself hiding behind chunky sweaters and constantly asking my husband the dreaded question - "Do I look fat in this?

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If a man and woman both jumped off a high building, who'd land first? Before marriage, and after marriage. Oh come, oh come, Emanuelle. They're married. How is a man like the weather? What is the only time a man thinks about adut candlelit dinner?

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When is it much better to be a woman than a man? They don't know the recipe.

He leaves town. What is the difference between a single year-old woman and a single year-old man?

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He snores. Why are men like popcorn?

Turns out they were right. Why do so many women fake orgasm?

To knock the penises marriedss the smart ones. Her: Which one's this? It's not that I "let myself go," it's that I let everything else in my life take priority. When's the only time you can change a man? What's most men's favourite hymn? A pint of beer with an olive in it.